A trans man walks into a gay bar
A Trans Man Walks Into a Same-sex attracted Bar by Harry Nicholas
Publication date: May 2023
LGBTQ+ author? Gay and trans
Setting: Modern day UK
This is a memoir of an plain British gay, transsexual guy. It is a very affirming book that doesn’t gloss over the hard stuff but still focuses on joy and connection. He describes why he wrote this book:
Sat on the shelves there were plenty of books about being same-sex attracted, and much-needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulated what it is to be both.
I found this hard to trust, but I confidence him! I certainly haven’t read anything like his story before. I also appreciated that he wasn’t famous, after my failed endeavor at reading Elliot Page’s very hyped memoir. It’s agreeable to read about someone a lot more relateable.
The composer gives a voice to something I think a lot about, as a trans person who has not medically transitioned. He writes:
I cannot help but feel that I was not born in the false body but rather the wrong world.
Trans people are matchless the way we are, with or without medical intervention. We are never broken. But hormones and surgery allowed him to R
A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar “is sweet, emotional, insightful, a seriously useful and novel resource for both cis and trans people”
A Trans Bloke Walks Into a Gay Bar: A Journey of Self (and Sexual) Discovery by Harry Nicholas is available to buy now. Reviewing the book Elia Cugini writes;
A rich and brilliant corpus of trans writing has formed over the past century, and particularly over the past decade, but some trans experiences are still scarcely depicted in copy. One is the experience of gay trans men, whose presence in trans fiction and memoir is curiously rarer than their straight or lesbian counterparts.
Trans theory and media through the 90s and 2000s focused heavily on ‘border wars’ between butch lesbians and trans men, meaning that the most visible routes into transmasculinity were available to those who came through lesbianism, while medical gatekeepers took transmascs’ attraction to men as evidence against transness; gay trans men, therefore, have historically had a much murkier route to travel to discover their transness at all. Meanwhile, there are various talented gay and queer transmascs writing popular fiction, such as Calvin Kasulke, Liam Ko
By Harry Nicholas, 2023
‘On the bookshelves, there was plenty of stuff on existence gay, and much needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulates what is it to be both – to remain in the hazy terrain between.’ After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a unpartnered adult for the first time – not only that, but a free, transmasculine and newly out gay dude. Despite knowing it was the right decision, the life of his brand-new situation was terrifying. How could he be a lgbtq+ man, when he was still education what it was to be a man? Would the gay community include him or reject him? What would gay sex be like? And most importantly, would discovery love again be possible? In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest novel, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary homosexual culture as a trans gay bloke, from Grindr, matchmaking app and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry’s brave and uplifting journey will display you there is joy in result who you are.
Book
Harry Nicholas’s novel explores existence, love and sex as a gay trans man
In 2018, fresh off a breakup with his ex-girlfriend and realising that he wanted to explore experience as a gay trans person man, Harry Nicholas start himself with a lot of questions. Will any gay men find me attractive? What will sex look like now for me? Will I fit into the gay community? What will the future hold? “There weren’t any role models I could look up to who were both trans and gay and say to myself, ‘Hey, they made it! They’re happy,’” Nicholas writes. “I guess the only way to go forward was to figure it out for myself.”
And figure it out himself he did – with a little help from his friends. The resulting memoir Nicholas wrote about his awakening into male lover culture, A Trans Dude Walks Into a Male lover Bar, is a groundbreaking take on what it’s like to be a trans man dating men. Breezing past common values that gay and double attraction trans men can’t participate in gay life, Nicholas spends much of the book chilling at male lover saunas, pools and bars and blasting through Grindr hookups.
But the book isn’t (just) an ode to gay hedonism – it’s also a sweet and serious paean to the communities, loved ones and role m