Gay wife
I’m a Straight Lady Who Married a Gay Man
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Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and have been married for nine superb years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never concealed it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we mind it would be best to stay open with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual friend. Our son took the news very successfully and doesn’t nurture that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I assess they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter in itself. So I’ve always kept it bottled up inside. He’s been married before, and div
OurPath
Resource for Straight PartnersA Different Kind of Love: Heterosexual Wife, Homosexual Husband
A Different Kind of Love: Heterosexual Wife, Homosexual Husband
Author Louella Christy Komuves was in a cheerful marriage that lasted 29 years until everything fell apart. Her husband, five years older than she, had silently struggled with his sexuality his entire life and finally made the conclusion to come out as a same-sex attracted man. After the devastating collapse of her marriage, Komuves sought to locate stories of other straight spouses with whom she could relate. Upon discovery very limited resources, she set out to shape her own experience of picking up the pieces of her shattered life – with the aid of her faith, family, and friends. Would she ever be able to trust another human and have a marriage of treasure, respect, and friendship? More importantly she wants others to see her story as a resource should they ever find themselves in a similar situation. Perhaps this manual could be the help for someone else that she herself needed.
In A Different Gentle of Love: Heterosexual Wife, Homosexual Husband, Louella Christy K
Gay Partner and Straight Partner – two separate journeys
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Two Separate Journeys
by Anthony Venn-Brown
A mixed orientation marriage (MOM) is where one loved one is heterosexual and the other is same-sex-oriented (gay or lesbian) or bi-sexual.
The situation we locate ourselves in is not usually one of intentional deception. (In some cultures, families and geographical areas, this may be other , however, as it is a matter of survival). For most of us in a western culture, our marriages were the result of us conforming to a society, who at that time believed homosexuality was a crime, a perversion and a mental illness. We married thinking that it was the right thing to do and that it would help to transform what we perceived was faulty within us.
I know this was the case for me. I wanted to do the right thing. Having a wife and family was everyone’s ultimate objective or expectation. There are also a number of people whose same sex orientation did not become obvious or awakened till after they were married. You, I, and thousands of others are the products of an uninformed society. We are at the fault line and our generation i
I Thought I Got Divorced Because My Wife Is Gay. Now I’m Teaching It All Might’ve Been a Huge Lie.
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!
Dear How to Do It,
A year and a half ago, my wife came out as a lesbian. While losing her this way was painful, I agreed to end the marriage because I didn’t desire her to have to live a lie. We’ve stayed in touch, which has been nice, but I recently heard something that made me really mad.
It turns out that she and her wife sometimes have threesomes in which they include a guy. Now a part of me feels like she ended our marriage under false pretenses and I feel betrayed. Did she deceive me?
—I Thought She Didn’t Go For That
Dear I Thought She Didn’t Move For That,
Your ex-wife may have deceived you. Maybe when she told you she was a woman loving woman, she had lingering disbelief or even full awareness that she still had sexual attraction to men. Maybe she thought it would be too complicated to explain this, that other present issues with your relationship (including the sexual aspect of it) were too much to get into so that “I’m gay” was the most efficient explanation.
I Thought I Got Divorced Because My Wife Is Gay. Now I’m Teaching It All Might’ve Been a Huge Lie.
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!
Dear How to Do It,
A year and a half ago, my wife came out as a lesbian. While losing her this way was painful, I agreed to end the marriage because I didn’t desire her to have to live a lie. We’ve stayed in touch, which has been nice, but I recently heard something that made me really mad.
It turns out that she and her wife sometimes have threesomes in which they include a guy. Now a part of me feels like she ended our marriage under false pretenses and I feel betrayed. Did she deceive me?
—I Thought She Didn’t Go For That
Dear I Thought She Didn’t Move For That,
Your ex-wife may have deceived you. Maybe when she told you she was a woman loving woman, she had lingering disbelief or even full awareness that she still had sexual attraction to men. Maybe she thought it would be too complicated to explain this, that other present issues with your relationship (including the sexual aspect of it) were too much to get into so that “I’m gay” was the most efficient explanation.